Why Love Hurts A Sociological Explanation

Author : Eva Illouz
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
ISBN 13 : 0745672116
Total Pages : 304 pages
Book Rating : 4.13/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Why Love Hurts written by Eva Illouz and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2013-05-20 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience. Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire. This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.

Author : Eva Illouz
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
ISBN 13 : 1509550267
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.65/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The End of Love written by Eva Illouz and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2021-09-15 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Western culture has endlessly represented the ways in which love miraculously erupts in people’s lives, the mythical moment in which one knows someone is destined for us, the feverish waiting for a phone call or an email, the thrill that runs down our spine at the mere thought of him or her. Yet, a culture that has so much to say about love is virtually silent on the no less mysterious moments when we avoid falling in love, where we fall out of love, when the one who kept us awake at night now leaves us indifferent, or when we hurry away from those who excited us a few months or even a few hours before. In The End of Love, Eva Illouz documents the multifarious ways in which relationships end. She argues that if modern love was once marked by the freedom to enter sexual and emotional bonds according to one’s will and choice, contemporary love has now become characterized by practices of non-choice, the freedom to withdraw from relationships. Illouz dubs this process by which relationships fade, evaporate, dissolve, and break down “unloving.” While sociology has classically focused on the formation of social bonds, The End of Love makes a powerful case for studying why and how social bonds collapse and dissolve. Particularly striking is the role that capitalism plays in practices of non-choice and “unloving.” The unmaking of social bonds, she argues, is connected to contemporary capitalism which is characterized by practices of non-commitment and non-choice, practices that enable the quick withdrawal from a transaction and the quick realignment of prices and the breaking of loyalties. Unloving and non-choice have in turn a profound impact on society and economics as they explain why people may be having fewer children, increasingly living alone, and having less sex. The End of Love presents a profound and original analysis of the effects of capitalism and consumer culture on personal relationships and of what the dissolution of personal relationships means for capitalism.

Author : Eva Illouz
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
ISBN 13 : 0745658075
Total Pages : 118 pages
Book Rating : 4.70/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Cold Intimacies written by Eva Illouz and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2013-04-23 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is commonly assumed that capitalism has created an a-emotional world dominated by bureaucratic rationality; that economic behavior conflicts with intimate, authentic relationships; that the public and private spheres are irremediably opposed to each other; and that true love is opposed to calculation and self-interest. Eva Illouz rejects these conventional ideas and argues that the culture of capitalism has fostered an intensely emotional culture in the workplace, in the family, and in our own relationship to ourselves. She argues that economic relations have become deeply emotional, while close, intimate relationships have become increasingly defined by economic and political models of bargaining, exchange, and equity. This dual process by which emotional and economic relationships come to define and shape each other is called emotional capitalism. Illouz finds evidence of this process of emotional capitalism in various social sites: self-help literature, women's magazines, talk shows, support groups, and the Internet dating sites. How did this happen? What are the social consequences of the current preoccupation with emotions? How did the public sphere become saturated with the exposure of private life? Why does suffering occupy a central place in contemporary identity? How has emotional capitalism transformed our romantic choices and experiences? Building on and revising the intellectual legacy of critical theory, this book addresses these questions and offers a new interpretation of the reasons why the public and the private, the economic and the emotional spheres have become inextricably intertwined.

Author : Eva Illouz
Publisher : Univ of California Press
ISBN 13 : 0520917995
Total Pages : 390 pages
Book Rating : 4.96/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Consuming the Romantic Utopia written by Eva Illouz and published by Univ of California Press. This book was released on 2023-04-28 with total page 390 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To what extent are our most romantic moments determined by the portrayal of love in film and on TV? Is a walk on a moonlit beach a moment of perfect romance or simply a simulation of the familiar ideal seen again and again on billboards and movie screens? In her unique study of American love in the twentieth century, Eva Illouz unravels the mass of images that define our ideas of love and romance, revealing that the experience of "true" love is deeply embedded in the experience of consumer capitalism. Illouz studies how individual conceptions of love overlap with the world of clichés and images she calls the "Romantic Utopia." This utopia lives in the collective imagination of the nation and is built on images that unite amorous and economic activities in the rituals of dating, lovemaking, and marriage. Since the early 1900s, advertisers have tied the purchase of beauty products, sports cars, diet drinks, and snack foods to success in love and happiness. Illouz reveals that, ultimately, every cliché of romance—from an intimate dinner to a dozen red roses—is constructed by advertising and media images that preach a democratic ethos of consumption: material goods and happiness are available to all. Engaging and witty, Illouz's study begins with readings of ads, songs, films, and other public representations of romance and concludes with individual interviews in order to analyze the ways in which mass messages are internalized. Combining extensive historical research, interviews, and postmodern social theory, Illouz brings an impressive scholarship to her fascinating portrait of love in America.

Author : Jill Cory
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0698155300
Total Pages : 208 pages
Book Rating : 4.05/5 ( download)

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Download or read book When Love Hurts written by Jill Cory and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading [this] wonderful book.”—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? What do you do when the one you love hurts you? Have you been searching for answers to difficult questions about your relationship? Do you feel confused about why your partner seems loving one moment and angry the next? Summoning the courage to ask these challenging questions can seem daunting. You know something is wrong in your relationship, but you are not sure what. If you are beginning to wonder if you are experiencing abuse, this book can offer you support, information, and, most of all, hope as you look for answers. Written by two women with a wealth of experience supporting victims of abuse, When Love Hurts introduces exercises and resources to help you make sense of your relationship, addressing all forms of abuse, including verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical. This practical guidebook is a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn and is filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, When Love Hurts can help you find the answers you have been looking for.

Author : Ulrich Beck
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
ISBN 13 : 0745669522
Total Pages : 73 pages
Book Rating : 4.26/5 ( download)

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Download or read book German Europe written by Ulrich Beck and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2013-04-24 with total page 73 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The euro crisis is tearing Europe apart. But the heart of the matter is that, as the crisis unfolds, the basic rules of European democracy are being subverted or turned into their opposite, bypassing parliaments, governments and EU institutions. Multilateralism is turning into unilateralism, equality into hegemony, sovereignty into the dependency and recognition into disrespect for the dignity of other nations. Even France, which long dominated European integration, must submit to Berlin’s strictures now that it must fear for its international credit rating. How did this happen? The anticipation of the European catastrophe has already fundamentally changed the European landscape of power. It is giving birth to a political monster: a German Europe. Germany did not seek this leadership position - rather, it is a perfect illustration of the law of unintended consequences. The invention and implementation of the euro was the price demanded by France in order to pin Germany down to a European Monetary Union in the context of German unification. It was a quid pro quo for binding a united Germany into a more integrated Europe in which France would continue to play the leading role. But the precise opposite has happened. Economically the euro turned out to be very good for Germany, and with the euro crisis Chancellor Angela Merkel became the informal Queen of Europe. The new grammar of power reflects the difference between creditor and debtor countries; it is not a military but an economic logic. Its ideological foundation is ‘German euro nationalism’ - that is, an extended European version of the Deutschmark nationalism that underpinned German identity after the Second World War. In this way the German model of stability is being surreptitiously elevated into the guiding idea for Europe. The Europe we have now will not be able to survive in the risk-laden storms of the globalized world. The EU has to be more than a grim marriage sustained by the fear of the chaos that would be caused by its breakdown. It has to be built on something more positive: a vision of rebuilding Europe bottom-up, creating a Europe of the citizen. There is no better way to reinvigorate Europe than through the coming together of ordinary Europeans acting on their own behalf.

Author : Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter
Publisher : Lexington Books
ISBN 13 : 1498544495
Total Pages : 289 pages
Book Rating : 4.98/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Impact of Social Media in Modern Romantic Relationships written by Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter and published by Lexington Books. This book was released on 2017-04-26 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Impact of Social Media in Modern Romantic Relationships is the communication field’s most major, comprehensive volume of the study of social media and romantic relationship development. It is the first volume in the discipline of communication studies intended to provide an overview of romantic development that includes all types of social media, such as Tinder and Facebook. The volume contains several major communication and media scholars who have researched social media and romantic relationship development.

Author : Dana Kaplan
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
ISBN 13 : 1509552332
Total Pages : 88 pages
Book Rating : 4.37/5 ( download)

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Download or read book What is Sexual Capital? written by Dana Kaplan and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2022-03-02 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book does to sex what other sociologists did to culture: it shows that sex, no longer defined by religion, now plays a role in the economy and can yield tangible benefits in the realms of money, status, and occupation. How do people accumulate sexual capital, and what are the returns for investing money, time, knowledge, and energy in establishing and enhancing our sexual selves? Dana Kaplan and Eva Illouz disentangle the current cultural politics of heterosexual life, arguing that sex – that messy amalgam of sexual affects and experiences – has increasingly assumed an economic character. Some may opt for plastic surgery to beautify their face or body, while others may consume popular sex advice or attend seduction classes. Beyond particular practices such as these, the authors trace an emerging form of “neoliberal” sexual capital, which is the ability to glean self-appreciation from sexual encounters and to use this self-value to foster employability, as exemplified by Silicon Valley sex parties. This highly original book will appeal to students and scholars in sociology, anthropology, gender studies, and cultural studies and to anyone interested in the nature of sex and how it is changing today.

Author : Julian Barnes
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0307957330
Total Pages : 158 pages
Book Rating : 4.37/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Sense of an Ending written by Julian Barnes and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2011-10-05 with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.

Author : John Green
Publisher : A&C Black
ISBN 13 : 140884818X
Total Pages : 321 pages
Book Rating : 4.80/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Paper Towns written by John Green and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Quentin Jacobson has spent a lifetime loving Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs into his life - dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge - he follows. After their all-nighter ends, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo has disappeared.