In Fifty Years Well All Be Chicks

Author : Adam Carolla
Publisher : Crown
ISBN 13 : 0307717380
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.82/5 ( download)

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Download or read book In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Author : Adam Carolla
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 0307888894
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.91/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Not Taco Bell Material written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2012-06-12 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In his second book, Adam Carolla—author of New York Times bestseller In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks and chart-topping podcaster—reveals all the stories behind how he came to be the angry middle-aged man he is today. Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories and debuts some never-before-heard tales as well. Organized by the myriad "dumps" Carolla called home—through the flophouse apartments he rented in his twenties, up to the homes he personally renovated after achieving success in Hollywood—the anecdotes here follow Adam's journey and the hilarious pitfalls along the way. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for over fifteen years, yet he never lost his underdog demeanor. He's still connected to the working class guy he once was, and delivers a raw and edgy, fish-out-of-water take on the world he lives in (but mostly disagrees with), telling all the stories, no matter who he offends—family, friends or the famous.

Author : F.L. Fowler
Publisher : Clarkson Potter
ISBN 13 : 0385345224
Total Pages : 162 pages
Book Rating : 4.24/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Fifty Shades of Chicken written by F.L. Fowler and published by Clarkson Potter. This book was released on 2012-11-13 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

Author : Teri Edwards
Publisher : Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 9781588167293
Total Pages : 152 pages
Book Rating : 4.91/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Farm Chicks in the Kitchen written by Teri Edwards and published by Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.. This book was released on 2009 with total page 152 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join The Farm Chicks in their kitchen as they share their favorite recipes, tips for frugal country living, and good times spent with family and friends.

Author : Stephen Tropiano
Publisher : Backstage Books
ISBN 13 : 9780823097012
Total Pages : 300 pages
Book Rating : 4.13/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Rebels and Chicks written by Stephen Tropiano and published by Backstage Books. This book was released on 2006 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fascinating account of the evolution of the "teen movie" analyzes more than one hundred films for and about teenagers, discusses the relationship between teen movies and the youth movement, and offers a comprehensive filmography of teen flicks. Original.

Author : Sloane Tanen
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN 13 : 1582347093
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4.97/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Coco All Year Round written by Sloane Tanen and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2006-09-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Coco the chicken finds something special about each month of the year.

Author : Adam Carolla
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062394274
Total Pages : 229 pages
Book Rating : 4.79/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Daddy, Stop Talking! written by Adam Carolla and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-05-26 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

Author : Adam Carolla
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062320424
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.21/5 ( download)

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Download or read book President Me written by Adam Carolla and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-05-13 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam

Author : Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1442406739
Total Pages : 34 pages
Book Rating : 4.35/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Chicks Run Wild written by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-01-25 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When it's time for bed, these little chicks can't sleep and they...run...wild!

Author : Beth Hoffman
Publisher : Island Press
ISBN 13 : 164283159X
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.97/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Bet the Farm written by Beth Hoffman and published by Island Press. This book was released on 2021-10-05 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Eloquent and detailed...It's hard to have hope, but the organized observations and plans of Hoffman and people like her give me some. Read her book -- and listen." -- Jane Smiley, The Washington Post In her late 40s, Beth Hoffman decided to upend her comfortable life as a professor and journalist to move to her husband's family ranch in Iowa--all for the dream of becoming a farmer. There was just one problem: money. Half of America's two million farms made less than $300 in 2019, and many struggle just to stay afloat. Bet the Farm chronicles this struggle through Beth's eyes. She must contend with her father-in-law, who is reluctant to hand over control of the land. Growing oats is good for the environment but ends up being very bad for the wallet. And finding somewhere, in the midst of COVID-19, to slaughter grass finished beef is a nightmare. If Beth can't make it, how can farmers who confront racism, lack access to land, or don't have other jobs to fall back on hack it? Bet the Farm is a first-hand account of the perils of farming today and a personal exploration of more just and sustainable ways of producing food.