The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Fawcett
ISBN 13 : 0345471725
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.27/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank written by Erma Bombeck and published by Fawcett. This book was released on 1995-03-01 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “[Erma Bombeck] is marvelously funny, direct as a hypodermic, a virtuoso in the field of suburban living.”—Vogue It’s the exposé to end all exposés—the truth about the suburbs: where they planted trees and crabgrass came up, where they planted the schools and taxes came up, where they died of old age trying to merge onto the freeway and where they finally got sex out of the schools and back into the gutters.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290060
Total Pages : 199 pages
Book Rating : 4.64/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “marvelously funny” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, “Station wagons . . . ho!” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290109
Total Pages : 178 pages
Book Rating : 4.01/5 ( download)

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Download or read book If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The hilarious #1 New York Times bestseller: Erma Bombeck’s take on marriage and family life is “fun from cover to cover” (Hartford Courant). Ever since she was a child, Er ma Bombeck has been an expert worrier, and married life has only honed that skill. She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1480430595
Total Pages : 513 pages
Book Rating : 4.94/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Erma Bombeck Collection written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-05-21 with total page 513 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life. If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life. Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart. The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290079
Total Pages : 183 pages
Book Rating : 4.71/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Aunt Erma's Cope Book written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestseller about one woman’s doomed quest for self-improvement by a writer “blessed with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch” (The Boston Globe). As far as Erma can tell, her life is going well. Her children speak to her, her husband smiles at her, and she’s capable of looking in a mirror without screaming. But her friends know better. No matter how happy Erma thinks she is, she’s in need of help, and the only way to fulfillment is a ten-foot stack of self-improvement books. From Sensual Needlepoint to Fear of Buying, Erma will try them all. One book recommends bringing roleplay into the bedroom, so she dresses up in her son’s football pads. She tries to meditate but gets stuck in the lotus position. She spends more time in the kitchen but only succeeds in melting her son’s retainer. No matter how hard she tries to improve her family life, her schemes keep backfiring. As she soon learns, you may not always be able to fix what’s not broken—but with enough self-help books, you can break anything you want. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Fawcett
ISBN 13 : 030777824X
Total Pages : 225 pages
Book Rating : 4.46/5 ( download)

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Download or read book At Wit's End written by Erma Bombeck and published by Fawcett. This book was released on 2011-02-02 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "America's irrepressible doyenne of domestic satire." THE BOSTON GLOBE Madcap, bittersweet humor in classic Erma Bombeck-style. You'll laugh until it hurts and love it! "Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet, he's treading water. What do you mean you're a participle in the school play and you need a costume? Those rotten kids. If only they'd let me wake up in my own way. Why do they have to line up along my bed and stare at me like Moby Dick just washed up onto a beach somewhere?"

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Galahad Books
ISBN 13 : 9780883659595
Total Pages : 632 pages
Book Rating : 4.9X/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Four of a Kind written by Erma Bombeck and published by Galahad Books. This book was released on 1996-10 with total page 632 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The grass is always greener over the septic tank; If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?; Aunt Erma's cope book; Motherhood: the second oldest profession.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290095
Total Pages : 427 pages
Book Rating : 4.95/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Forever, Erma written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 427 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times Bestseller: This anthology of Erma Bombeck’s most memorable and humorous essays is a tribute to one of America’s sharpest wits. When she began writing her regular newspaper column in 1965, Erma Bombeck’s goal was to make housewives laugh. Thirty years later, she had published more than four thousand columns, and earned countless laughs—from housewives, presidents, and everyone in between. With grace, good humor, and razor-sharp prose, she gently skewered every aspect of the American family. This collection holds the best of her columns—not just her famous quips, but also the heartbreaking observations that gave her writing such weight. In 1969, Erma wrote: “screaming kids, unpaid bills, green leftovers, husbands behind newspapers, basketballs in the bathroom. They’re real . . . they’re warm . . . they’re the only bit of normalcy left in this cockeyed world, and I’m going to cling to it like life itself.” With what Publishers Weekly calls her “infectious sense of human absurdity,” Erma Bombeck’s writing remains a timeless examination of the still-cockeyed world. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Author : Michael Strumpf
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780805075601
Total Pages : 516 pages
Book Rating : 4.07/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Grammar Bible written by Michael Strumpf and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2004-07-15 with total page 516 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For more than a quarter of a century, as the creator and proprietor of the National Grammar Hot Line, Michael Strumpf helped thousands of callers from every corner of the globe tackle the thorniest issues of English grammar. In The Grammar Bible, he answers the most common, the most insightful, and the funniest questions asked of him by students, editors, lawyers, doctors, and writers of all stripes. Professor Strumpf's unique question-and-answer sections follow concise but thorough explanations of the various elements of good grammar, from parts of speech to types of sentences; together, they comprise the ideal primer on speech and writing, showing readers how to express themselves more impressively. Whether you need a comprehensive review of the subjunctive mood or simply want to know which form of a verb to use, The Grammar Bible is a practical handbook that will enlighten, educate, and entertain you.

Author : Erma Bombeck
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0061099813
Total Pages : 292 pages
Book Rating : 4.16/5 ( download)

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Download or read book When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home written by Erma Bombeck and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1992-12-05 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The author tells of her travel experiences around the world, addressing the questions of travelers everywhere." --