Mock The Week

Author : Dan Patterson
Publisher : Boxtree
ISBN 13 : 1743032196
Total Pages : 240 pages
Book Rating : 4.90/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mock the Week written by Dan Patterson and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2010-06-24 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mock The Week: 1001 Scenes We'd Like To See is the funniest, rudest book of the summer, packed with enough one-liners to fill a whole new series. If you've ever wondered what would be a bad thing to say at a state banquet, or need advice on slogans you shouldn't have tattooed on your arse, then this book will prove invaluable. Collecting together the best one-liners from two bestselling Mock the Week books, categories include: UNSUCCESSFUL PERSONAL ADS: Companion required for long sessions of Sudoku. No timewasters. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Sorry About Your Face. UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: May cause diarrhoea, dysentery, flatulence, piles and other hilarious bottom-related ailments. UNLIKELY CROSSWORD CLUES: Apricot knee Simon - well a nun might if the Zeppelin has grown its own Byzantium (16,8) LINES YOU'D NEVER SEE IN A JAMES BOND BOOK: '"James, he's using the diamonds to divert a giant laser onto New York from outer space." Bond took the bottle out of M's shaking hand and helped her off the floor into bed.'

Author : Dara O Briain
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781860513664
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.62/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mock the Week written by Dara O Briain and published by . This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Author : Dan Patterson
Publisher : Boxtree
ISBN 13 : 174353471X
Total Pages : 254 pages
Book Rating : 4.17/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mock the Week: Brand Spanking New Scenes We'd Like to See written by Dan Patterson and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2014-10-01 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Modern life is a minefield. Fortunately, the creators of Mock the Week are here to give you advice on the important things in life: from office etiquette to camping holidays, the worst things to hear while sitting on the toilet - and what not to say when passing through Customs . . . Categories include: Unlikely Things to Hear at a Funeral: 'Could whoever that is stop knocking, I'm trying to do the Eulogy!' Unlikely Things to Say on Your First Day in Prison: 'How thoughtful! Someone's left a bucket of chocolate mousse in the corner of my cell.' Guide to Keeping Tropical Fish: For a special treat, pour a smoothie slowly into the fish tank. They love that. Mountaineering Tips: Try to make sure you are accompanied by an experienced mountaineer or, failing that, someone really fat who will make for a soft landing. Medical Self-Diagnosis: If it comes out faster than gravity would normally allow, then there's something wrong.

Author : James Acaster
Publisher : Headline
ISBN 13 : 1472247205
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.09/5 ( download)

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Download or read book James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller written by James Acaster and published by Headline. This book was released on 2017-08-24 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: **THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER** 'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring James Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like TASKMASTER,MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and WOULD I LIE TO YOU? But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself. Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

Author : Dan Patterson
Publisher : Boxtree
ISBN 13 : 9781447260806
Total Pages : 240 pages
Book Rating : 4.05/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mock the Week written by Dan Patterson and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2014-01-02 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Scenes We'd Like to See is the very first Mock the Week book, published to coincide with the sixth series of the hit BBC2 comedy show. From gloriously rude 'Unfortunate names for race horses' to 'Unlikely personal ads' and lines that (sadly) never appeared in the Harry Potter books, Mock the Week: Scenes We'd Like to See is the fastest, funniest read of the year: a bumper book of all-new razor-sharp one-liners, including: UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: No rabbits were harmed during the testing of this product - but the rats were less lucky. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Happy New Breasts! UNLIKELY HOROSCOPES: You will go to your bedroom window and stand there naked for a minute, you will do this especially if your name is Mrs Hughes and you live at 56, The Avenue, Clapham...around 3.30 would be best for me. UNLIKELY LINES FROM A NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK: 'I've turned my cock into a frog!' squealed Ron in terror.

Author : Steve Punt
Publisher : Orion
ISBN 13 : 1409138267
Total Pages : 189 pages
Book Rating : 4.66/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Now Show Book written by Steve Punt and published by Orion. This book was released on 2011-09-15 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The must-have look at the world from the team behind Radio 4's THE NOW SHOW. THE NOW SHOW BOOK boldly tackles all the superlatives that other books avoid. It does this by means of making stuff up and scrupulously avoiding too much research, insight, or fact. Unless the fact is funnier. And legal to mention. Split into illuminating subject sections, categories include: Biggest Scare Story Worst Political Gaffe Most Hated Corporate Jargon Most Annoying Recorded Announcement Most Stressful Special Occasion Most Baffling Commercial Most Inaccurate Weather Forecast - and many more! With Marcus Brigstocke and Mitch Benn adding their own fine touches, this book is a fascinating, engrossing - and brilliantly entertaining - look at the modern world ...

Author : Sarah K Mock
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781636768205
Total Pages : 268 pages
Book Rating : 4.02/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Farm (and Other F Words) written by Sarah K Mock and published by . This book was released on 2021-04-26 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We love The American Farmer. We trust them to grow our food, to be part of children's nursery rhymes, to provide the economic backbone of rural communities, and to embody a version of the American dream. At the same time, we know that "corporate farms" are disrupting the agrarian way of life that we so admire, and that we've got to do something to stop it. So what's our plan for saving the farms we love? In Farm (and Other F Words), Sarah K Mock dismantles misconceptions about American farms and discovers what makes small family farms work, or why they don't. While exploring the intersection of farming and wealth, Mock offers an alternative perspective on American agricultural history, and outlines a path to a more equitable food system moving forward. Calling for change, Farm (and Other F Words) tackles questions like: Do farmers really get paid not to farm? Are "big corporate farms" the future? How much good has the food movement done for small family farmers? Ultimately, Mock suggests a solution without putting the onus for change on struggling consumers and reminds us that, "the future of American agriculture is not yet decided."

Author : Raymond M. Smullyan
Publisher : Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN 13 : 0192801422
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.25/5 ( download)

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Download or read book To Mock a Mockingbird written by Raymond M. Smullyan and published by Oxford University Press, USA. This book was released on 2000 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of Forever Undecided, Raymond Smullyan continues to delight and astonish us with his gift for making available, in the thoroughly pleasurable form of puzzles, some of the most important mathematical thinking of our time.

Author : Gary Delaney
Publisher : Headline
ISBN 13 : 1472277449
Total Pages : 118 pages
Book Rating : 4.42/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

Author : Dan Patterson
Publisher : Boxtree
ISBN 13 : 9780752265445
Total Pages : 160 pages
Book Rating : 4.4X/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mock the Week's Ultimate Panic-Buy! written by Dan Patterson and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2013-09-26 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tired, nervous headache? Stressed out by shopping? Need an affordable, pleasingly sized book that is guaranteed to be funny? Press the buy button now! Unlikely Things to Read in The Joy of Sex: Making the sound of a tuba when she bends over is rarely a good idea. Strange Things to Hear from your Satnav: 'At the next junction, bear left, open the throttle and let's see what this little baby can do.' Unlikely Things to Read in a Pet Manual: Labradors are intelligent but you'll still be able to beat them at board games. Lines You Won't Hear in Dr Who: 'Here's your new assistant, Doctor - she's fifty-eight and happily married.' Unlikely Things to Read in a Parenting Book: It's always great to have a comforter handy for your baby to hold on to when they need it. Ours is called Michael; he's a lovely man. Other 'scenes we'd like to see' include: Unpleasant Real Ales * Bad Names for Racehorses * Unlikely Things to Read on a Tube of Toothpaste * Unlikely Tax Return Form Questions * Unlikely Obituaries * Rejected Royal Baby Names * Unlikely Things to Hear in a Public Swimming Pool * Unlikely Lines from a Bond Film