The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book

Author : Tim Vine
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1409039307
Total Pages : 322 pages
Book Rating : 4.03/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Author : Tim Vine
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1448101182
Total Pages : 208 pages
Book Rating : 4.84/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-02-29 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . . Velcro. What a rip off. Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? Because he's got a massive bum. So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.' Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people I tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chair Read it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!

Author : Tim Vine
Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 1409127613
Total Pages : 128 pages
Book Rating : 4.11/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness written by Tim Vine and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2013-10-10 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedian and TV star Tim Vine delivers a jam-packed, laugh-a-minute assortment of hilarious silliness. Welcome to THE TIM VINE BUMPER BOOK OF SILLINESS. Put your 3D glasses on now. And then remove them because they won't make any difference. This is a bit like an annual. Annual love it. It's filled with silly jokes, daft quizzes, zany pictures and other silly stuff too. We live in a very serious world but now and again it's good to forget about that and say things like 'lozenge waffle' or 'giraffe sprocket'. Ideally to a stranger.

Author : William Donohue
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1440583099
Total Pages : 208 pages
Book Rating : 4.94/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Best Joke Book (Period) written by William Donohue and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

Author : Geoff Tibballs
Publisher : Robinson
ISBN 13 : 1780335369
Total Pages : 160 pages
Book Rating : 4.60/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

Author : Gary Delaney
Publisher : Headline
ISBN 13 : 1472277449
Total Pages : 118 pages
Book Rating : 4.42/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

Author : Tommy Cooper
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1409052494
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.94/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book written by Tommy Cooper and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-10-09 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.

Author : John P. Kotter
Publisher : Harvard Business Review Press
ISBN 13 : 1633692140
Total Pages : 208 pages
Book Rating : 4.45/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Buy-In written by John P. Kotter and published by Harvard Business Review Press. This book was released on 2010-10-06 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've got a good idea. You know it could make a crucial difference for you, your organization, your community. You present it to the group, but get confounding questions, inane comments, and verbal bullets in return. Before you know what's happened, your idea is dead, shot down. You're furious. Everyone has lost: Those who would have benefited from your proposal. You. Your company. Perhaps even the country. It doesn't have to be this way, maintain John Kotter and Lorne Whitehead. In Buy-In, they reveal how to win the support your idea needs to deliver valuable results. The key? Understand the generic attack strategies that naysayers and obfuscators deploy time and time again. Then engage these adversaries with tactics tailored to each strategy. By "inviting in the lions" to critique your idea--and being prepared for them--you'll capture busy people's attention, help them grasp your proposal's value, and secure their commitment to implementing the solution. The book presents a fresh and amusing fictional narrative showing attack strategies in action. It then provides several specific counterstrategies for each basic category the authors have defined--including: · Death-by-delay: Your enemies push discussion of your idea so far into the future it's forgotten. · Confusion: They present so much data that confidence in your proposal dies. · Fearmongering: Critics catalyze irrational anxieties about your idea. · Character assassination: They slam your reputation and credibility. Smart, practical, and filled with useful advice, Buy-In equips you to anticipate and combat attacks--so your good idea makes it through to make a positive change.

Author : Stephen Arnott
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0091897653
Total Pages : 578 pages
Book Rating : 4.59/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Man Walks Into a Bar written by Stephen Arnott and published by Random House. This book was released on 2004 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.

Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 172 pages
Book Rating : 4.08/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers written by and published by . This book was released on 2003 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The world's first complete book of wine humor. Hundreds of funny quotes, definitions, anecdotes and news items about mankind's favorite beverage. Plus cartoons from The New Yorker.